7 Steps To Help Your Teenager Succeed

While coaching one of my teenage clients who was feeling frustrated and unhappy about life we came upon some universal insights which can serve as useful reminders for us all, and in particular if you have a teen aged child. 1. What people think of them matters and can hurt your teen We started exploring the cause of her frustration by using a recent dream in which she saw herself climbing up a mountain, slipping from the peak, falling and hurting herself badly. What she discovered was that the mountain represented her self image or how she wished to be perceived by the people who were most...

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Dysfunctions of the Complaining Parent 8

Homes that are infested with family politics, controversies and crossfire of opinions and judgments, may compel the child to grow up too fast. Here the primary caretaker may feel inadequately equipped to deal with her own life and may frequently talk about these issues openly with her yet too little child because she has no one else to share her pain with. Without realizing it, such people let their troubles become the sole bonding factor between the child and themselves. Majority of the time is spent voicing the caretaker’s pain and talking about how life is plagued with so many problems....

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Dysfunctions of The Partial Parent 7

Parents are usually unanimous in the belief that they treat all their children equally. And yet siblings seem to grow up having an acute sense about who was the proverbial apple of the parent’s eye. Often in families with two or more kids, the youngest  one usually occupies the position of the little baby way past the infancy period. Stuck in a notional time warp the parents tend to unknowingly push away the older sibling/s in the belief that being older, he/she can fend for himself while the younger one needs focused attention and hands on parenting. At first the older one seeks...

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Dysfunctions Of The Overprotective Parent 6

 Sometimes concern for the well being and safety of the child can cause parents to become overly caring and protective, stifling the child’s natural instinct to discover and explore life. This disables the child’s learning ability to fend for himself making him physically and emotionally dependent on the parent or caretaker. These children are always under the watchful gaze of the caretaker, are regularly rescued from unsavory fights and disagreements with friends, are constantly reminded to be careful and are likely to be assisted entirely with all school projects and homework by an...

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Dysfunctions Of The Critical Parent 5

Families where either parent spends considerable or most of their time correcting or criticizing their child because they want him/her to be the epitome of perfection, reinforce the belief in the child’s impressionable mind that nothing he or she ever does is good enough. Children are constantly judged or labelled; being told they are lazy, sloppy, untidy, irresponsible or good for nothing. These parents don’t think twice before telling the child; you should be ashamed of yourself, or how could you be so stupid, or worse still, you’ll never get anywhere in life. These suggestions get...

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Dysfunctions of the Phantom Parent 4

In this case the primary caretaker or mother is so busy and self absorbed with either household chores or social engagements that she is only physically present at home but emotionally unavailable to the child. Such home environments may be characterized by closed doors and wide emotional distances between the caretaker and the child. The mother may be busy with coffee meets, kitty parties or shopping sprees and engrossed on the mobile or I pad when at home. If she is not the socially engaged or networked type, her obsession with cooking, cleaning and attending to the household chores may...

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