Does Detachment Mean You Won’t Love Any More?

Yesterday I met a renowned cardiologist

and while we were exchanging notes on science and spirituality he mentioned it was impossible to embrace spirituality completely if one had embraced the family tradition, referred to as Grihasthya Ashram in Hinduism.

As the discussion progressed, I realized

he held this belief because he felt that in order to progress spiritually, one had to seek detachment. This involved sacrificing the bonds of love with the family which was in direct contradiction to the karma of a householder, whose primary duty it was to fulfill the needs of his family. This is a commonly held mis-belief that detachment means letting go of love. Nothing is further from the truth. Detachment involves letting go of attachment, not love.

So the question arises – what is attachment?

Is it not the same as love? The answer dear ones is that attachment is the opposite of love. It creates conditions for your affections. It always wants the other to be a certain way before it allows you to love them. For example it isn’t easy to love your wife when she is complaining, judging or nagging you, or to be in the energy of love when your son presents you with a C- report card. Attachment allows you to express your affections only when people act and behave in ways that are pleasing to you. You are not free to love them despite their behavior.

To a person who believes in euphoric love

attachment masquerades as addiction. It clings and craves for the object of its attachment. It makes you behave like a parasite, unable to live without the other. It secretly yearns to receive while pretending to give. It involves loving someone for what they add to your life, rather than what you bring to theirs. Attachment needs another person to fill you up so that you can feel complete, while love fills up the other endlessly, without wanting in return.

Attachment is the dark side of love

but not love itself. Only when the demon of attachment is conquered can true love be unleashed. Detachment means conquering the attachment aspect of the egoic mind to release true love that lies imprisoned in the dark grip of attachment or Moh. When true love is set free it allows you to love without expectations and conditions. It lets you give without expecting to receive. It fills the others love tank without ever becoming empty itself or wanting to be filled by any other except the creator. If people reciprocate your love, you love them. If they don’t, you still love them.

True love empowers and supports

without hesitation. It gives because that is its nature and it knows neither want nor need. It fulfills your own self  and all others that you encounter or embrace. It gives you the ability to love without limits, without caution, without barriers. Detachment lets you love more powerfully than you have ever imagined in your wildest dreams because it is unconditional and entirely volitional. It loves without attachment, without condition.

Imagine being able to love

your child regardless of whether he brings you dishonor or fame. Or love your wife without expectation that she will respect you or reciprocate your affections? Imagine being able to support the relative who abused and discredited you publicly, from the purity of your heart?

Embracing the path of evolution

and spiritual progress makes these things and many more possible in your life. It allows your love to soar to unseen realms and un-imagined potentialities, redefining ever so compassionately, the meaning of love in your life.