13. Fear of Making Mistakes

A beautiful young girl of ten

who is finding it difficult to memorize her lesson is rebuked by her grandmother for not getting her spellings right. Grandma is angry that despite so much practice she is still making mistakes and scolds her for it.

As that loud angry voice hits her ears,

the little girl’s heart starts beating faster, her throat begins to go dry, tears sting her eyes, her hands ache to smash her toys on the floor and her feet want her to run out of that room as fast as she can. She wants to run to the comfort of her mother’s arms and hug her tightly where she can feel safe.

Shortly after, her mother arrives

and rescues her. She cries and tells mama she will never study with grandma again.

Seven years on, after her mother

unfortunately departs for the heavenly planes, her disciplinarian uncle constantly admonishes her while supervising a strange milk diet where she is kept only on milk for two months in order to lose weight. She dreams up images of running out of the house in the nights when everyone is asleep or worse still, ending her life to escape the situation.

Ten years later, her otherwise gentle

guitar teacher tells her in a rather firm voice that she is forgetting her strings. She stops going to class and begins to lose interest in the classes even though, becoming a great musician one day is her dream.

On another occasion when she is admonished

by her very loving father to stop wasting her life watching movies, playing with the I pad and not finding a direction to her life, she becomes adamant about going away to her maternal grandmother’s home even if it is for only a few days, and when that is not allowed, she rebels silently by conjuring up mental images of ending her life yet again, (left with no choice she might as well just join mama up there). 

That childhood experience of her grandma

getting angry, triggered a lifelong fear of making mistakes. Since then, every time she encounters similar experiences she resorts to her childhood coping mechanism of avoiding the situation and running away from it in an attempt to protect her vulnerable inner child.

This fear is triggered in her every time an elder

talks to her in a loud voice or gets angry with her for making a mistake, and she defends herself by escaping from that experience through avoidance. (Interestingly she also has a habit of apologizing and saying sorry for the smallest, most inconsequential things.)

Her inner child was healed by allowing

her informed adult to help her do what she couldn’t as a helpless little child. She learnt to express her needs and requirements with those who might be angry with her for being slower in memorizing her work or for making mistakes. She learnt to let hurtful or mean words to bounce off her being as a squash ball bounces off a strong wall.

She messaged an hour after the session

informing that she had called her guitar teacher to say, sir sometimes I pick up things slowly, please be patient with me. This was a great achievement for her because until now she had never been able to stand up for her needs.

While she has today taken a giant step forward,

she will however, have to train her mind through her new found awareness and build new neural pathways through the use of affirmations, visualizations and continued therapy to fully unlearn and overcome this old mental pattern that no longer serves her, thus enabling her to unleash her full potential.

All of us go through life acting through the filters of our childhood fears and limiting mental patterns. Inner child healing can help us identify the source of these limiting patterns and heal them, helping us to become limitless. If you wish to unleash your potential, call me now.

Love & light to all you potentially limitless beings,

Suzy

 

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