Quick Tip 14: Are You Listening?

The young man dreaded the thought of going back home that evening. Day after day he had returned home amidst the animosity of his wife and mother’s disagreements and he was tired of trying to find solutions and create harmony. In fact he was almost beginning to think that harmony was impossible and all he wished for was to somehow escape the daily trial.

He stopped on the way to visit the temple en route his home, and as he entered, he saw a couple engrossed in deep conversation.

No my dear I don’t want you to do anything or tell her anything. I merely want you to know what I am going through.

Not wanting to eavesdrop on their privacy, the man continued to the inner sanctuary of the temple and sat down to meditate. In the stillness of his mind an insight awakened.

She doesn’t want you to solve anything nor negotiate a solution. In fact she doesn’t want you to fix anything at all. All she seeks is your listening. And within that true listening she asks for your understanding. So that she can unburden her troubles and share her pain.

Her complaints are not seeking redemption; they are merely seeking a voice.

Her tears are not instigating action but finding comfort in your arms.

Her anger does not reflect her misgivings but her wounds.

Her anguish does not ask for remedies but only a shoulder to lay her head upon and rest in its support for a little while.

The man arose from his meditation and enlightened, he headed home with a compassionate heart and a mindful ear.

1. When someone complains to you today, know that they are simply asking for your understanding.

2. Recognise that they do not want you to fix the problem.

3. Listen to them from your heart and not your head.

 4. Your empathy and listening will bring deep peace and resolve to their pain