Reclaiming My Parts

Every denial

So close to my heart

Clinging to them unconsciously

As if they were mine

 

Parts of me so full of life

I have scattered

Unknowingly since the beginning of time

Wearing away the fabric of my soul

Recklessly

As if they weren’t mine

 

Standing in the twilight now

I wonder

Why is it I am so tired, so empty

What is it that wears me down?

And leaves me in the hollows

Is this all that’s left of mine?

 

Where has joy vanished I ponder

And courage, strength, endurance, trust?

When did they leave me?

Why and how I ask?

Do you know where I can find?

All that was ever mine?

 

In search of my selves I set out

To journey into the past

Where few dare to go

Into the dark alleys of my soul

Hoping to retrieve parts

 To make a whole

And bring back all that was mine

 

Bit by bit I gathered again

Pieces of my gold

Some were robbed

Others I lost

And a precious few if gifted away

But now I reclaim all those parts

 That was truly mine

 

Hollows gone but tired still

I looked to see if there were others

That didn’t belong to me

 And sure enough

I found plenty still

Who I know

were never mine

 

One by one I let them go

Some returned

Others transmuted

And many led into the light

Now I’m lighter

Having shed

 All that wasn’t mine

 

I wish I had known before

What my real treasures were

And learnt to draw the line

So none could cross over

Through either worlds

 And I could keep what was mine

 

But now I’m wiser through the toil

And shall guard

Both day and night

Watching at the gateway of my soul

That nothing ever trespasses

Me or mine

And I remain a complete whole

 

Dedicated to all those who I lost and regained my parts from and those who lost and retrieved them from me