34. The Connection Between Money & Your Mind

Have you ever wondered why you have money problems? Or what your relationship with money is? Are you in awe of it? Are you scared to have too much or too little? Do you defer payments until they become long overdue? Or spend it carelessly? If someone asked you to write yourself a cheque, how many zeros would you add to the figure? It’s interesting how your subconscious relationship with money can be the root cause of your empty pocket syndrome or your money woes.

Rakesh had a similar kind of problem. He was struggling to succeed in his ventures which usually never reached the execution stage because they never passed the, it’s not grand enough mental test. Besides, he didn’t have any liquidity to invest in his ventures as he never managed to save, was still repaying his debts, and was unable to use his existing resources to generate money. He often blamed his family for their tight financial circumstances and struggled to make ends meet. His common refrain was that he was helpless because his father controlled the business strings. Any conversation about money invariably led to his father and was associated with a feeling of anger.

On examining closely, it surfaced that Rakesh was uncomfortable receiving money. (That itself explained why he never had any. He was programmed not to receive it.) But on the surface, this appeared contradictory. He had dreams about making it real big and frequently came up with ideas about projects that he failed to launch because they were much too grand for his means. And yet, when money came to him, he felt anxious accepting it, almost as though he didn’t deserve it, or hadn’t worked hard enough to earn it.

His most recent memory of this discomfort was a month ago when he had to withdraw his salary from the family business. On investigating his subconscious mind we identified that the belief, I am dependant, was triggering this discomfort. As he travelled down memory lane, he encountered an experience where his father was scolding him. You are good for nothing in your studies & only know how to spend money, the words echoed in his mind. Twelve year old Rakesh felt like a bechara, a helpless child, but his helplessness was tinged with anger. He knew that even if he had studied well, his father would still not have given him any money.

Travelling further back, at ten years of age, there lay another experience that cemented his relationship with money. He was on a school trip with friends and had just one five hundred rupee note in his wallet. All his buddies had so much more money in comparison, and so, on that day his subconscious mind innocently decided that he was just not deserving enough to have enough money.

But we hadn’t hit jackpot yet. The answer to his troubles lay further back in a remote little classroom called kindergarten. His crayons had been stolen & his father had refused to buy him another set saying they didn’t have the money. This created a belief in his innocent mind, I don’t have money. Next day at school he nervously tried to borrow crayons from his friends because he was terrified of being punished by his teacher for not having his crayons. His teacher’s angry face loomed large in his mind. What would happen to him if she discovered that he did not have them? A wave of nervousness swept over him as he trembled with the anxiety of being caught without his set of crayons. In his mind he imagined that his teacher would beat him up and he worried that when that happened, he would wet his pants and the whole class would get to know that he had no crayons. That’s the moment when his relationship with money was determined.  He would not have enough, he would always be anxious that people would find out that he didn’t have enough and to protect himself, he would have to pretend that he indeed had enough by putting on masks. This explained his obsession with grand business plans and his immaculate dress sense, yet what lay at the very core was the program, that he would always be helpless when it came to earning, deserving or multiplying money.

At four years of age, his struggle with money as a full grown adult had already been defined. But today, he had found the touchstone that could heal his relationship with money. As we concluded his therapy session, he spoke about a new sense of comfort in accepting and receiving money. “Money is the reward for my hard work and the fuel for my business growth”, he murmured softly but confidently with a deep sense of conviction. And then he added, “It’s perfectly okay for me to receive money, I have worked hard for it; I have earned it”. As the blazing post noon sun spread its warmth around the world, a powerful new relationship was forged in one mind that would hopefully reap the rewards of this new found comfort by lighting up Rakesh’s financial life soon.