De-addiction from Alcohol

Q: Dear Suzy, I’m going through your book “Heal the storm within”. It touched me to the core. Maybe because i am going through an emotional storm.
My son is too much into alcohol and smoking. He is married with children. Alcohol has now started affecting his health. Advice, counselling, shouting, screaming,  have done all. Not ready to listen of rehab or Professional help. This because he does not feel he is wrong. Every evening he goes with friends for liquor. I feel someone away from the family can put something rational in his head.

A: Dear Sister, I can fully understand how distressing your situation is. As a loving mother you carry the deep desire to help your child, and feel helpless because he is not willing to accept your assistance. If we examine this situation impersonally, many insights emerge.

  1. The child in question is a fully grown adult with a strong personal will. He comes home each day and senses the disapproval in the home environment. Feeling judged or invalidated, he chooses to escape this disapproval or judgement by going drinking with his friends every day. He rationalizes this because his ego does not want to feel vulnerable or hurt.
  2. You feel responsible for his well-being & thus control his unhealthy behavior. This pushes him further away. Remember, all addictions are an attempt to escape from control, judgement & emotional or psychological pain. What might work better in this situation is to be more accepting & loving towards him. Stop judging him and telling him what to do or not do. Create a compassionate, more accepting, more loving space at home so he can become more open to your suggestions for de-addiction. Be patient.
  3. Also please dedicate your daily  prayers to him so he may be able to make wiser choices and become free of his afflictions. Expand your heart chakra and beam love to him several times each day.

I pray there comes a time soon enough, when he will want to give up his addiction. That is the right time for him to come into therapy. A seed does not sprout with force, we have to create ideal circumstances for it to do so.

May you find patience to endure and peace to cultivate acceptance


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