Dysfunctions Of The Critical Parent 5

Families where either parent spends considerable

or most of their time correcting or criticizing their child because they want him/her to be the epitome of perfection, reinforce the belief in the child’s impressionable mind that nothing he or she ever does is good enough.

Children are constantly judged or labelled;

being told they are lazy, sloppy, untidy, irresponsible or good for nothing. These parents don’t think twice before telling the child; you should be ashamed of yourself, or how could you be so stupid, or worse still, you’ll never get anywhere in life. These suggestions get deeply imprinted on the child’s psyche and the child unconsciously works towards the fulfillment of these prophecies.

What they do not realize is that they are teaching the child

to devalue himself, negate and deny her true feelings and repress unresolved experiences burying them deep in the subconscious mind creating a pressure so deep which could, some day later in life, erupt in the form of depression, arthritis, bi polar disorder, cancer, stroke and countless others diseases.

These children can easily become victims

of the fear of failure trap, resulting in constant procrastination. They end up believing that no matter what they do or how hard they try, they will eventually fail and so they simply stop trying.

They become apprehensive of trying out new things

or exploring new avenues. They tend to put off doing even routine chores for the fear of being criticized despite their best efforts and so don’t act at all. They become non experimental and fixed in their behaviors.

As adults they project their inner fears onto the world

around them becoming cynical, bitter, non-trusting and sharply critical. Some disconnect with their feelings entirely and become cold, dogmatic and overly rational. They lose touch with their inner feelings in order to avoid pain and often find it difficult to keep friendships or hold onto relationships resulting in frequent break ups, isolation and extreme loneliness, later in life.

If you want to endow your child with a healthy personality

and a strong emotional quotient, stop criticizing and instead choose to instruct him/her by setting the right example through role modelling and not by judgement.