I mean, what if I talk about it?

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it, don’t. There are many others who could volunteer to handle that part. You do what you are comfortable with. Or you may decide to talk to only some people andnot others or not talk at all. The only real thing that matters is doing what you have to. So see for yourself but start the internal process. That should not be postponed. Start today when you go to bed.